White House Women
by Angel's babe
Summary: Josh muses over the women of the White House and the impact they have had on his life. This is Donna centred, and will eventually turn romantic. It's mainly from Josh's point of view, with other's scattered throughout the story
1. White House Women: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'm only borrowing the characters off the West Wing. I'll put them back when I'm done playing, I promise.

Summary: Josh's musings on the females in his life. Donna centred. It might eventually become a J/D pairing.

Spoilers: Gaza.

Author's notes: 1. Not actually sure how long this will be, this has just started festering in today. If I get reviews I may write a little more. This first bit is like an inner monologue.

2. ""= Dialogue, ''= thoughts

3. COS= change of scenery.

Title: White house women

Author: Angel's babe

Rating: PG-13

I doubt many outsiders know this, but women in the Bartlett White House are very powerful. No, I don't just mean the First Lady, or Zoe, or Ellie, although they are powerful simply because the President turns to mush around them. I mean Margaret, Nancy, Ginger, Debbie, and most importantly (to me anyway) Donna. These women do much more than hand us coffee, write memos for us, and take our phone calls for us They keep us sane, tell us off when we need it. And trust me when I say I need it more than Toby, Leo CJ, and Charlie put together.

She was always willing to do that. Always willing to tell me when I was wrong, or totally blew up at somebody- in that case she would make me apologize. She knew my moods, knew when I needed someone to talk to, or something to laugh at. And now she's lying here, in a hospital bed, and I'm sitting here, wishing and hoping that she'll open her eyes so that I can tell her how much she means to me.

I remember our first Christmas in office together. She was on a skiing kick. I still don't know if she actually has taken any lessons and knows how to ski or not. Anyway, she gave me this two-page long list of ski-related equipment poles, boots, actual skis, goggles, and told me to pick one or two things from it. I ended up going shopping with President Bartlett to an old book store. I bought her this book about alpine skiing, and wrote a little note to her. When I gave it to her she threw her arms around me and hugged me. That wasn't why I gave it to her though- why I really gave it to her was what came afterwards, I went back towards my office and leaned against the doorway. I watched her face change, as a smile lit up her entire face as reread the inscription. And in that moment I realized what Christmas was all about.

Then there came Roslyn, they tell me she never left my bedside. She was the one that took me to the hospital when I cut my hands. She has always been a support system for me, not an assistant. I owe her my life, and so here I am- blind devotion for blind devotion I guess.

After that, came the President's revelation that he had M.S. I took it hard, but Donna, she was so resilient. She didn't show much shock either, but rather genuine concern for him, while the rest of us were still in total shock, and dealing with the ramifications.

And now our friendship faces this. She had been complaining to me for months, that she was ready for more challenges. I shrugged her off for a while, but eventually I listened. I responded by sending her on the mission with Fitz Wallace to Gaza. The more logical side of my brain says that I had nothing do with this. How could I know that some maniac would blow up a Suburban? I couldn't, nobody could. It was just chance they were on that road that day, just chance that she was in it. But then, the other side- the guilt-ridden side of my mind starts with the 'if onlys': If only I had another task for her, if only I had shrugged her off that one last time...

But in the end I usually give into the logical side, I realize I can't predict these things. I'm here now, and I didn't stop for red lights either. We've been through a lot, and we'll make it through this.

Authors note:

This is my first story with a first-person narration. Please review and let me know how I did.

Up next: maybe an appearance by the First Lady.

Happy reading.


	2. White House Women Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them. Suing will get you nothing.

Summary: See Chapter #1

Author's notes:

""= Dialogue, ''= thoughts

C.O.S.: Change of Scenery

Responses to reviewers:

Sorry if it seems like nitpicking: corrections have been duly noted.

Kursk: Thanks for the encouragement.

Chapter #2:

I was asleep, but somewhere in the back of my mind I could hear a phone ringing.

"Donna, get that would you." I said out loud. It still kept ringing, and I woke up enough to notice my surroundings, "and here I thought _this_ was the dream," I whispered. I told her I'd be right back, then left to take the call.

"Hello?" I said rather groggily.

"Hi Josh, how is she?" Leo asked me.

"Still asleep. She's going to be sleeping for a while. How are things there?"

"There's good and bad." Leo told me.

"Good and bad..." I left off waiting for Leo to continue

"Good that everybody is operating as a cohesive unit. And things are going bad because that cohesive unit is riding on the President's response to this latest thing. And the president wants a peaceful solution, but both sides are stubborn making him frustrated. " Leo explained. I chuckled to myself fully knowing what a frustrated Bartlet could do to his staff.

"I've asked about Donna, now what about you?" Leo asked.

"You know it makes it easier knowing that I'm here for someone, it keeps me sane somehow. But I'm all right." There was a pause.

"Actually Leo, I'd like you to look into an free-lance photo-journalist. He was often seen in her company at meetings. How about you, anything you would like me to do on this end?" I asked wanting to be as useful as possible.

"No, not for now, but Toby will be in touch later. Oh and Josh, one last thing. The first lady is on her way."

"Thanks for the head's up Leo." I responded.

"Bye Josh."

"Bye Leo." Then I hung up the phone, and re-entered Donna's hospital room, and sat down beside her bed, and took up her hand. I sat back again, in a few moments I was asleep. I was awakened maybe an hour later with the sound of loud voices by the nurses station.

"I'm going to take this opportunity to remind you that I have security clearance..." She began

"The same level as the C.I.A.." The nurse responded.

"Actually the same level as the President who is also my husband, who is also your commander-in-chief." She finished.

"That's all well and good, but we can't give out any information to someone that either does not hold the power-of –attorney, or is not on related to a patient. You see ma'am." The nurse responded, as she helplessly shrugged her shoulders. I had come and was standing in the doorway throughout the whole exchange, and chose this moment to speak up:

"It's okay. She's a doctor, and I trust her. More importantly than that, she can get your butt fired with just one phone-call." There was a nervous pause.

"I was kidding." I smiled showing my dimples to back up the joke.

"He really was," the First Lady agreed with me, and began walking towards me. We continued down the hall, the two secret service personnel directly behind us. We reached an open door to an empty lounge. She turned to her guards and asked them to wait outside, then walked into a waiting room. I had sat down on a chair, and had my head in my hands. She settled into a seat beside me, taking time, gathering her thoughts.

"I bet you are wondering why I am here. To all appearances she's a staffer, nothing more than an assistant to you, a glorified secretary if you will. Well in the last few years we have been through a lot. The President, as well as I have come to look at you more like family than as staffers, and that includes the assistants as well. You need a support system here Joshua. You cannot keep sitting here in this hospital room, day in day out, it's not healthy. So I'm here to provide that for you." The First Lady finished.

"Does the President know?" was my first question.

"He does. He's pretty frustrated with the whole situation right now. Both Israelis and the PLO are being stubborn, and he's just... Well let's just leave it at you know what a frustrated Jed will do to his staff, not to mention pretty much everyone else that comes in contact with him." Abby told me. I smiled again, and then sat back, my relaxation level increasing steadily. The First Lady has always intimidated me, so that the fact that I could relax in her presence at all is a huge achievement. But as much as she was intimidating, she could also be protective. It was the protective mode I could sense she was slipping into.

"So how are you feeling?" Dr. Bartlet asked.

"Alright I guess. I only threw up once- when I first got here and was speaking to her doctor. The nerves bother me sometimes. It's that whole hospital feeling. It always reminds me of what happened in Rosslyn." I told her part of the truth. I dearly hoped she wouldn't press further.

"And you're tired, you've been sleeping in one of those awful hospital chairs. That can't be good for your back Joshua. " She admonished me. Actually come to think of it, my back wasn't feeling too good, and I could use a hard bed.

"Oh and by the way, you look 20 years older than you usually do. The cure for all this is simple: go to the hotel, get some sleep, eat something and take a shower. I'll call you if anything changes." Dr. Bartlet told me.

"Okay." I had taken out my cell phone to glance at it.

"Oh, and I'll take that from you as well." She took my cell phone. I really was too tired to argue with her, and knowing the First Lady to be a formidable woman I didn't. I got up and she followed me out.

"Now go, I promise you I will call you when there's something to report." Dr. Bartlet assured me. I started walking toward a cab waiting outside. I paused as I remembered Toby: "Toby's supposed to call and check in later today."

"Don't worry, I'll handle him." She assured me, and she watched as I got in my cab and it drove me to the hotel.

I got out and walked in, my first stop being as per doctor's orders, the restaurant. I ordered a cheeseburger and fries, with a diet coke. As I ate, I remembered a time when she was with me. The rest of the staff was there, it was late at night, and we were all hungry. We all had just ordered, and Donna insisted she wasn't hungry. Our food came, and we began eating. I had left the table to take a call and when I came back in time to catch her eating my fries.

After I finished eating my dinner I made my way up to the room I had rarely seen the inside of. I lay down and fell asleep instantly. I don't remember dreaming anything, but I did sleep surprisingly well. I got up and made my way into bathroom where I showered and shaved, before changing my clothes and checking for messages. There were two, one from Toby, telling me to call him- he didn't say what it was about, typical Toby fashion, neurotic as ever.

And one from Dr. Bartlet. I glanced around for my cell phone, then remembered that she had it. I dialed the nurses station on Donna's floor, which in turn was able to get Dr. Bartlet for me.

"Just come Josh, I'll tell you when you get here." That was all she said.

Immediately I ran downstairs and got in the first cab I could find. I resisted the temptation to tell the cab driver not to stop for any red lights. The cab drove up, and I paid him, and ran to Donna's floor. As I got there, I had an empty feeling that something had happened. I saw Dr. Bartlet standing outside her door.

"Donna's in surgery."

"Oh, I replied." I really didn't trust myself to say anything else.

That's it for this chapter. Please read and review. I see I already have 3 reviews for it. Now let's try for one more for this chapter.

-A.B.


	3. White House Women: Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Suing will get you nothing- unless you want debts.

Summary: See chapter #1

Authors notes: 1. First story told from the first person's point of view

2. I'm back… sorry it took so long- writers block

3. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

4. C.O.S.: Change of Scenery

5. Italics: Email

Response to reviewers: Thank you. It's nice to see people like what they see. Keep up reviewing.

Chapter # 3: White House Women:

Donna in surgery- the words took a while to compute, to get into my thick head. Luckily Mrs. Bartlet had the presence of mind to guide me to the waiting room. We sat down across from each other this time, then she took my hand and like something out of some corny movie, she told me what was wrong: Donna had a blood clot, and they were operating to get it out. I leaned my head against the wall behind me, closing my eyes, and dreading making the call to her parents.

"I already did." Mrs. Bartlet said. She always did have a knack for mind-reading.

"I should call the rest back home they'll want to know what's happening." I said. She reached into her purse and pulled out my cell phone, and handed it to me.

"Tell Toby, I know all his secrets." She said. I looked up:

"You don't really.."

"No, but it's fun to play with his head and let him think I do." She replied. I gave her a dimpled smile, then stepped out to call home. I looked at my watch, and realized they would be in staff, and so dialed Leo's office. Margaret put me through, and Leo promptly put me on the speaker phone:

"Hey kemo sabi" C.J. greeted me.

"What took you so long in getting back to us, and how did the First Lady get a hold of your cell phone? Toby demanded gruffly

"And how is the First Lady?" Leo asked.

"She's in her element- terrorizing doctors, hell; she even terrorized me into taking a nap and eating something. She even managed to get my cell phone off me" I responded

"Good for her." Leo answered.

"Hi Josh." Will said. It was followed up with greetings from the rest. Leo ended with:

"This better be good news you have for us Josh."

"I'm afraid it's not. Donna's in surgery with a blood-clot." This information was greeted with silence.

"Oh Josh." C.J softly said.

"So how's everything there?" I asked.

"Oh we're trying to run the country, the same old thing." Toby sarcastically said.

"What Toby meant to say was that we're trying to deal with this mess in the best way we know how. Leo- ever the diplomat translated.

"How's the President doing?" Josh asked.

"He's frustrated. The PLO won't listen to him or the Israelis and the Israelis will listen to him and not the PLO.

"Quel suprise." Toby commented dryly.

"And it doesn't help that the only person that has some effect on him is in Germany." Leo finished.

"Sounds like fun." I struggled to keep from laughing.

"You're smirking aren't you kemo sabi?" CJ asked.

"No, I'm not. I'm actually about to ask if there's anything I can do to help things along from here. I asked.

"We may need you to take meetings." Leo said.

"I can do meetings." I say confidently.

"I have the information you wanted." Toby said.

"Alright, email it to me. I'll pick it up from here. I should go, and get back to her."

"I'll call you later to talk about the meetings." Leo added.

"See ya kemo sabi. Let us know when there's a change." C.J said. I heard the phone click off, and I hung up my end and sunk into a chair. Suddenly I was emotionally exhausted. I was sad and angry. Donna was possibly dead already, and I was alive. All I wanted to do is find those men that did this, and make them pay. I raised my hand and rubbed my face.

"She's out of surgery." Mrs. Bartlet walked from the doorway across to where I was sitting. She took off her mask and began to take off her other scrubs.

"I just talked to Leo and the rest."

"Yeah. Is Jed still driving them crazy?" She asked.

"Yes." I again had to cover a smile. I casually glanced at her to notice her reaction, and to my surprise she was smiling too.

"It's only funny, when you're not a part of it," she said, I nodded my agreement.

"She can have visitors in a few hours, when they move her back to her room," Mrs. Bartlet told me.

"Thanks." I replied, flashing a smile. I took out my cell phone and logged onto the email.

_Josh: Here is the information you want. It seems Donna's new friend has quite the past._

_-Toby_

I opened the attachment to find a full dossier courtesy of the C.I.A.

_Name: McDonald, Colin_

_Birthdate: May 7th, 1968_

_City: Edinburough, Scotland- _well that explains the Highland accent

_Profession: Free-lance Photographer_

_Height: 6"1_

_Weight: 190 pounds_

_Place of residence: Glasgow, Scotland_

_Last known whereabouts: Gaza City, Israel_

_Notes: Has spent a fair amount of time in the Middle-east, photographing the places and people. Some of his photos have been used in Time, and Newsweek. He's often seen in the company of known- IRA operatives. In the past, Mr. McDonald has been linked to some IRA operations in the past, although no concrete proof has been found. It is unknown whether he is still a part of the organization. British intelligence has speculated for years that he uses his photography as a cover story, but no proof has been found yet. _

'Boy Donna, you can really pick them. If he put her in danger…' I didn't bother completing the thought, as I realized that she wouldn't want it that way. I suddenly looked up from where I was sitting to find a guy slouching in the doorway watching me intently. I returned his gaze, and we stood there, gazes locked for what seemed like an eternity. Until a female voice said: "Sorry to interrupt this territorial ritual, but I was wondering if I could get my coat."

The guy turned around to identify the source of the voice:

"Abigail Bartlett, First Lady of the United States. And you might be?" Abbey pushed past the guy and into the waiting room.

"Colin McDonald Madam. I should have recognized you. Donna talked about you with great fondness." Colin replied. 'Ah, the competition.' I thought

"We are both very fond of her as well. She should be out of recovery within a couple of hours. I'm going out for a walk, Josh you're welcome to join me when you're done in here." Abbey said softly. She grabbed her coat and went out.

"Imposing lady," Colin remarked.

"Yes, she can be." I returned.

"You must be Josh Lyman. Donna never said much about you, other than that you were her boss." Colin began.

'I have the feeling this gomer is more than he appears to be.' I thought to myself.

"Yes that would be me." I replied, sticking my hand out for a handshake. There was an awkward silence as we stood assessing each other. I tried to find something not to like about the guy, but overall I couldn't, then again there was the fact he was after Donna… I could work with that.

"So you just get off a flight?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, I'm quite tired now. I really would like to find somewhere to lie down." He replied.

"Why don't you go see someone at the Nurse's station? They'll have a cot brought up I'm sure. You can sleep right outside her room and be there when they bring her back from surgery." I suggested. I was in no mood to be overly helpful.

"That sounds good." He answered and again we lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. 'This guy is soo sizing me up. Well I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' I thought to myself. I made moves to grab my coat. It was time to end this awkwardness.

"I'm on my way to join the First Lady in a walk. I'll walk with you to the Nurses Station." I said, my tone making it clear that he was not welcome.

I led the way out the door, and he followed me no further than the Nurses Station. I continued onwards toward the door, and could hear him speaking to the nurses with that thick Scottish accent. I could also hear the girlish giggles- what is it about men with accents? I thought to myself, as I shrugged further into my coat, tied the scarf around my neck, and continued out the door. I noticed the First Lady seated on a bench in the middle of the gardens- her secret service detail situated around her.

"Joshua, come sit by me." She called, and motioned me over. I strolled over; hands clasped behind my back, and sat down beside her. I folded my hands in my lap and patiently waited for her to speak.

"Are you two finished your little territorial war?" She asked me, meaning the interrupted staring contest. I gulped, not knowing what to say, so I was silent. To me this was a 'damned if you do, and equally damned if you don't. If I told her the truth by saying no- she would give me the tongue-lashing me of a lifetime, yet if I said yes- that would be lying- and from when I've observed the past experiences of others, heaven help you if you lie to the First Lady. I guess being silent was equally damning to me. She sighed, and continued, quietly:

"Donna can't speak for herself yet, so I'm going to speak for her. This guy, this Colin, is quite the charmer. - She smiled at this, knowing how much it would irritate me.

Honestly what girl wouldn't fall for him, he's got the looks, and that accent- 'I'm starting to hate that accent' I thought. But I've also seen you. You can be quite the charmer Lyman, the swagger the dimples… there are any number of female interns at the White House fawning over you Lyman. Having compared the two of you, I'm going to say this: Donna is not some piece of land for you to fight over. She is a person."

The First Lady grabbed my shoulders to emphasize her next point: "Joshua- (I hated when anyone called me that). You need to decide exactly how you care about Donna. Is it only as a friend- in which case she can date this fetching Scottish fellow- I'm starting to really hate that guy. Or is she something more? If she's something more then you need to make it perfectly clear to her and to your competitor that you love her. If you don't decide I will give her my blessing to make your life very miserable." She finished up. She gracefully rose leaving me silent, and walked back into the hospital. I sat there with the full knowledge that she would make good on her promise- I wondered about that being some sisterhood thing, and with the question I had asked myself and never come up with a good answer for: How did I feel about Donnatella Moss?

That ends this chapter…

Review and find out what happens next

-A.B.


	4. White House Women: Chapter 4

Disclaimer: NBC owns these characters and I do not. NBC is not me.

Summary: See chapter #1

Authors notes:

1. First story told from the first person's point of view

2. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

3. C.O.S.: Change of Scenery

4. Italics: Email

Responses to Reviews:

Slim whistler: Yes, writers block did suck. But it broke.

White House Women: Chapter #4:

So, how did I feel about Donna Moss? I spent many sleepless nights struggling with this question. I suppose I secretly hoped it would get answered for me simply by watching her fall for and marry someone else. But no, there were all of these guys- sure some of them were great- the navy dude, and the Congressman. But all of them didn't treat her quite as well as I think she should be treated. All of them left their relationships unfinished. The navy dude- okay he had to leave it that way, the Congressman- that was just messy; he was in charge of the hearings after the President's M.S. revelation, he should have told her about that.

I know I care about her as a friend. I know that after every guy that she went out with, she became increasingly disappointed with the male gender. And every time she began to enjoy herself with an evening off, I would call with some emergency, and being the dedicated woman that she was, she would come running in whatever dress she was wearing that night. I know that always I was the one left to pick up the pieces; I was the one left with her crying on my shoulder as each guy she thought she saw a future with broke up with her. She always was the hopeless romantic- always thought she'd find 'the one,' while I had found my one in my work.

Then Rosslyn came along, and I was shot. She never left my side, and so her role evolved from assistant to support system. I got to see a different side of Donna during that time the traits that made her who she was became stronger: her compassion, as she helped me through my physiotherapy, not to mention drove me to the hospital the night I broke the window with my hand, and her overall kindness as she became my shoulder to cry on. She became my eyes and ears at the office, at times even functioning as Deputy Chief of staff at times. All through that time she never complained about being overloaded with work, she appeared to relish the challenge, so I leaned on her and relied upon her. When I was finally healthy enough to go back to the office, she had had to settle for again becoming the 'Deputy-Deputy- Chief Of Staff.' She became restless, she wanted a challenge. I put her off, and put her off, and she became increasingly bitter. So finally I granted her wish. She was elated.

I guess the question would be: After all this time, all that we've been through Do I love Donna Moss?

Yes. Do I have the courage to tell her?

Not yet.

I glanced at my watch, and noticed the time- Donna would be out of surgery. I walked down to her room just in time to watch the orderly finish and make their way out of the room. I stood there a few moments more thinking of this new revelation- I loved Donna. I stood there watching her sleep, marveling at how peaceful she was, and how beautiful she was on the outside as well as the inside.

"You can go in you know," came Dr. Bartlet's voice. I hadn't even heard her come up behind me. I went in, and sat in the hospital chair, took up her hand. I sighed:

"You and I are going to have a talk when you're better." I whispered to her. I sat back and gazed at her, drinking in every breath she took, every expression that flashed across her face. I realized then I would never get tired of this activity- watching her sleep. I yawned- speaking of sleep; I should probably grab some now. I shut my eyes, and as I was drifting off to sleep I could hear voices, from the doorway one of them with that annoying Scottish accent:

"Is he in love with her?" Colin asked.

"Yes, he just doesn't know it yet." Dr. Bartlet replied.

"I see. Tell Donna, to enjoy her flowers. I've been paged back to Gaza to be on stand-by to go to the USA; it appears your husband's working on a miracle." Colin said, rather dejectedly. I heard his footsteps echo as he made his way down the hallway.

"Coward," The First Lady muttered. I smiled as I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later, and noticed the First Lady had come and was taking her vitals.

"Good Morning sleepy head. Her blood pressure and vitals are strong. It looks like there will be no long-term damage done to her physically at least. Now you guys will be able to have that talk" Dr. Bartlet informed me. I smiled at her, and again gazed at Donna. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, glanced at the number, noting it was Toby's. I moved out of the room to take it:

"Hey."

"Hey. How's Donna?"

"She's out of surgery, and going to be fine according to Doctor Bartlet."

"Good. Listen, Kate has a plan that she thinks will work. There have been noises from various factions within the PLO, that they want Farat gone. She thinks that if we can pinpoint a possible successor to him, and invite him to informal talks with the Israelis we have a chance at a deal. His people are in Germany right now, and want a meeting," Toby stated.

"Isn't that the…" I began, to be cut off by Toby:

"C.I.A.'s job? Not this time buddy. We want to leave the C.I.A. out of this for now. They will only meet with somebody from the White house. And you're it." He answered.

"Kate will call and brief you later. The meeting is tomorrow at 4, at a schnitzel house." Toby continued.

"Do I get to wear the trench coat and secret decoder ring?" I asked sarcastically. Toby ignored it.

"Do you think this plan will work?" I asked.

"Personally, I see the stubbornness in these people and know that it won't work. But it's a new approach, and it doesn't cost lives, which, makes it very popular with the President."

"What does Leo say?"

"Leo doesn't want to do it. He's urging him to commit forces now. He's allowing his past and his feelings to cloud his judgment." Toby answered.

"Yeah." I sighed: "I should go back to Donna. Tell Kate I'll do it, and that I'm waiting for her call."

"Bye Josh. Take care." Toby answered. I hung up the phone. I started back towards Donna's room. I re-entered and took up my position beside her bedside, taking one of her hands in both of mine. A few moments after I sat down, she began to stir.

"Hi." I said. She blinked her eyes several times, trying to focus.

"You came." She answered. I smiled:

"Yeah, as soon as I heard. You gave us quite a scare." I said. I turned around to the sound of footsteps to note that a doctor to check up on her.

"Welcome back. You did give us quite a scare. How is the leg holding up?" he asked, noting the measurements on the instruments

"It's not hurting that much right now" She answered.

"That's a very good sign."

"What day is it? Donna asked the doctor.

"Wednesday, it's perfectly natural to experience some short-term memory loss after what you've been through." The doctor told her. She looked at me with a haunted look in her eyes. I had a feeling that she didn't forget a thing. The doctor left then and I re-took my position in the chair and moved to hold her hand, and she took it away and looked back out the window. We just sat in silence for a while. I moved to turn on the T.V. She looked at me pleadingly:

"No Josh. It's too soon. They'll be covering what happened. I can't deal with it right now." She said. I looked around and finding no radio I said:

"It's either the sound of my lovely singing voice or the television. We could watch German game shows." I smiled to back up that it was a joke.

"I would take the T.V. the only time his singing voice is ever lovely, is when he's had a lovely beer or two." A female voice said. I turned to the source, as Donna named the speaker:

"Dr. Bartlet."

"Yes, that would be me. But you are to call me Abbey now." She replied.

"What are you doing here?" Donna asked

"I'm here to keep Joshua here out of trouble." Abbey responded.

"That's a tough job." Donna replied.

"Hey" I protest, as I move over to turn on the TV. I flipped it to CNN out of habit, and then I flipped it away realizing what I did. Abbey noticed:

"No, change it back."

..When asked about the truth of the rumoured Summit at Camp David, the Bartlet Administration claimed: no comment." The senior correspondent stated. I turned to the ladies:

"I have to go." Then I left the room to make the call.

That ends the chapter

To get more you just: Review.

-A.B.


	5. White House Women: Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own them, so please don't sue- you wouldn't get a thing if you did.

Author's notes: Sorry for keeping the update back for so long, I got busy with life.

2. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

3. Italics: Email

C.O.S.

Response to reviewers:

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this, and I thank you very much for your patience. Also, a refresher that this is a first-person (Josh) story.

White House Women: Chapter #5

I decided to call the one person who would give me the unadulterated facts without opinions. The voice of the White House, as well as my friend and colleague: C.J.

"White House Press Secretary's office", Carol answered.

"Put me through to your boss, I'd like some answers." I answered gruffly. I heard CJ whisper: "Is that…" and could imagine her standing beside Carol. I was put on hold for a number of moments. She couldn't possibly avoid me forever. Finally she picked up the phone:

"Joshua my missing other half! How's Germany?" She began lightly. I rolled my eyes and sighed, as I realized that I was going to have to play nice. 'What part of 'answers didn't she understand?' I thought.

" It's very… German. Haven't found any tight leather shorts to wear yet though. I'm working on that." I said. I could see her struggle not to laugh at that picture.

"How's Donna?" She asked, her voice gaining a gentle softness.

"She's good, she's awake, and Dr. Bartlet is with her. We had the television on just a couple minutes ago. We were watching the news, the anchor had an interesting final item about rumours that were of course denied regarding the White House their plans underway for a Mid-East Summit…"

I trailed off waiting for her to give the information. Instead I was greeted by silence. I could easily imagine her sitting at her desk, running her hand through her hair worriedly, as she always does when she can't quite figure out what to say, which was really quite rare.

"You have no idea what it's been like here, without you. How the President is riding all of us hard about this, he won't let it go. He's gotten too personally involved in this, his grief over Fitzwallace, and Donna's injuries are clouding his judgment. Not even Leo can get through to him do you know that. Leo's dead set against involving any peacekeepers. Leo looks at the situation and sees the situation as quicksand, while the President sees a chance for peace. It's driven a wedge between them and the President is so hurt over it all. We could really use you right now Josh. " C.J. said.

I didn't know what to say, and there was silence on the line again.

"It's true then isn't it?" I answered, my voice growing quiet.

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being an absolute certainty that we **will** be hosting a summit, this one right now is sitting at about an 8.5." CJ responded. I sunk into a waiting-room chair and put my head in my hands.

"Okay, I'll be home tomorrow after I take this meeting and we'll go from there."

"But Donna…" CJ started

"She'll be okay, Abby will stay with her…"

CJ cut me off:

"The First Lady is the only one that can keep our boss calm, she needs to come with you. Besides it'll be more comfortable flying on a private plane with you than commercial- 'She knows me far to well, that I get tend to get slightly claustrophobic on long commercial flights'. Donna's parents are on a flight that should be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean right now. There will be plenty of people there to fuss over her."

I was only slightly placated with that. I also began to feel a gnawing guilt start eating away at me.

"Kate Harper just walked in, and wants to brief you about your meeting tomorrow. Bye Josh, give my love to Donna."

"Bye C.J. see you tomorrow. "

"Okay." CJ answered and rose giving the phone off to Kate Harper.

"Hi Josh." She greeted me.

"Hi. You wanted to brief me." I was anxious to get this over with so I could spend all the time I could with Donna, as well as tell Abby she was coming with me.

"Yes. This is about the meeting tomorrow. The man you are meeting with is not Chairman Farad, nor it is a member of his party. It is a member of the opposition party, someone that is willing to negotiate reasonably with the Israelis using the President s the go-between of course. If your meeting is successful, we would hope to issue an invitation to him to the summit. Now comes the hard part: Nothing is to get back to Chairman Farad. If he knew we were negotiating anything with anyone other than his party he would attack the Israelis, just as if he knew we were negotiating with his opposition the summit would be completely off. You are to make no firm offers; this is simply an information-gathering session to see if the demands are reasonable. Got that? " she asked.

'This would be a piece of cake; I've had more adventure than this in meetings on the Hill. It still would be kind of cool to be James Bond for a day… or at least the American equivalent.'

"Yes," I responded.

"You will know the main person by a small triangular scar on his right cheek. First a bodyguard will sit down briefly- a kind of size-up period. He'll leave and then the actual negotiator: Karim will sit down with you. The meeting will last at least a half hour. Do you understand"?

"Yes." I repeated my previous answer.

"What issues am I cleared to discuss?" I asked knowing how complex the situation is, and how many different problems have to be solved before that was absolute peace in the area.

"Discuss: Jerusalem, the Gaza Strip, the containment wall, and west bank. Touch on what he would do if he were chairman, how he would treat his allies, how he would deal with Israel, and what he would do to improve the lot of his own people. We just need a general impression on where he stands on all the issues."

"Okay, thanks."

Bye Josh. Remember to clear the call history on the cell phone."

"Don't worry Kate, I will, see you tomorrow" I replied. I was greeted with the sound of the phone click. I walked back into Donna's hospital room humming the theme to the James Bond movies. Abby met me at the door.

"How'd the call go?" She asked me. I glanced at the clock and noted that nearly a full hour and a half had gone by. I glanced into the room beyond and could see Donna had gone back to sleep. I motioned her to follow me back down to the waiting room and we sat down. I took a moment to carefully choose my words:

"It's pretty bad back there. The President is determined to fix this situation in the Middle East. He's even offered peacekeepers. Leo for his part is to quote CJ: dead set against them, he sees it as being a quicksand. This is doing damage to their friendship that may not be repairable." I paused noting the troubled look across Abby's face, and her slight nod.

I continued: "Because of their difference of opinion, Leo is being left of the loop, and the rest of the staff are having to step in. He's to be perfectly honest: riding them all very hard about this issue. I looked around to make sure nobody but the secret service were within hearing range:

"It looks very possible that there will be an Middle-east summit within the next couple of weeks. I've been asked to come back Abby." I sat back and braced myself.

"What about Donna. You know, that woman lying in the bed. The one you supposedly love. Have you decided what to tell her, if anything?" She asked me, anger latent in her tone. I gulped awkwardly, and glanced down at the floor.

" I was going to tell her that I loved her, and that we needed to talk when she finally got back to the States." I replied, in a small voice. She noticed I didn't make eye contact with her.

"Look at me Josh." I looked- knowing that when she gets that commanding tone even the President is powerless to disobey her.

"If you do not love her as madly and deeply as you have admitted to me, walk away from her now, and do not look back, do not dwell on what might have been. Encourage her to be happy, and act happy for her. Do not call whatever guy she is dating a local 'gomer,' or use work to prevent her in any way from seeing him. If you do love her, tell her before we leave." She told me. I meekly nodded; she rose motioning me through the door before her. I began walking down the hall.

"Joshua," Abby called. I turned around.

"One last thing to remember: if you ever hurt her, I have the power to make your life a living hell, and I will use it, are we clear?'

"Yes ma'am." I muttered.

"I can't hear you," She answered

"Yes ma'am." I repeated louder.

We reached Donna's room. Abby lingered back, then pleading a headache, headed to the hotel. I went in and pulled up a chair by Donna's bedside, and took up her hand. She was still asleep, and I sat there gazing at her face, and trying to figure out how to tell her. Sometime later her eyes fluttered open.

"Hi." She greeted me. I gulped.

"Hi, I love you." I blurted out, then I cringed the moment I said it. 'Way to get the girls Lyman! You'll be lucky if this one ever talks to you again.'

"I know. So, what now?" She asked me. There was silence, as I decided to be more careful with my words.

"I have to go back to the States tomorrow." I told her, and then watched carefully for a reaction.

"Oh."

"Are you okay with that?" I asked her.

"Yes, the job must come first right? I mean he's the leader of the free world, and you're his deputy chief of staff. Of course I would expect that he needs you more than I do. Go home, and we'll talk, we'll talk when I'm back at work. We'll do it at lunch: Your treat." She said, putting a smile on for my benefit.

"It's a deal. Now I have to go, I have a meeting tomorrow, and we leave right after. But I will be by to say good-bye during the day though." I stood up.

"I love you Donna." I leaned and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah." I left the room, feeling surprisingly down about that conversation. I really thought I would feel completely happy, and content. I loved Donna, I told her I did, and I should be strutting around like a peacock. So why did I feel so down, so sad?

I went back to my hotel and into the bar and ordered a pint of Heinken. As I sat there drinking I thought about that question: I supposed it was because I was yet again giving into my job. What I wanted was to be with her, as she got well again, became my Donna again. What was needed was me in Washington with the President. I knew that I had to reconcile these two things if I was going to be effective in my job. While pondering all of this I ordered a second beer, halfway through which my legendary system kicked in, and I managed to get up to my room. I loosened my tie and lay on the bed. My last thoughts as I fell asleep were of Donna.

Well that's it.

Hoped you like it, and this partially makes up for the length of time between updates.

Please read and review, I find all reviews extremely helpful

-A.B.


	6. White House Women: Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Don't worry; I'm just taking them down off the shelf to play with them for a while. I'll put them back afterwards, I promise.

Author's notes:

1. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

I2. talics: Email

3. C.O.S.: Change Of Scenery

* * *

White House Women: Chapter #6

I entered the dimly lit restaurant and took a seat at a table. I looked around nervously, taking note of any exits should I need one. I checked my watch: 12:30, the guy was now a half hour late. Kate never told me what to do if he was late. Should I leave? Should I stay? If I leave, I possibly put the chance of certainly Middle East if not world peace in the balance. If I stayed, and he never showed up, I risk angering my colleagues, not to mention the First Lady. I'd managed to place myself in a lose-lose situation again: Another smooth one Lyman!

I checked my watch yet again: I'd managed to waste only another 5 minutes. As I began to resort to playing my table setting a contact arrived; he sat down across from me in the booth. He was Arab, and also appeared to be wearing a wire of some sort behind one ear. He looked me up and down, taking in my crumpled suit and flyaway red hair. I cleared my throat awkwardly:

"I don't usually look like this." I weakly attempted to explain. My companion, apparently satisfied that I wasn't armed rose after a few moments. Another five minutes of awkward waiting time ensued for me. Just when I was about to leave, I noticed a second man enter the restaurant. Arab, dressed in western clothes. As he approached I noted a skullcap was the only outward sign of his faith. He sat down and demurely folded his hands, waiting for me to begin the conversation.

I put my hand out:

"Josh Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff." 'and super-agent extraordinaire I added in my head.

"Nazir Kalvia, leader of Palestinians for a Peaceful Solution. You are empowered to discuss…" He left off.

"Yes, the key issues. Let's get started. First issue is Jerusalem." I began.

"My people do not want a divided Jerusalem. They want it united under our control. The Dome of the Rock is sacred to us, it is where the Koran states that the Prophet Mohammed ascended to the heavens." Nazir responded.

'Ah the opening Salvo.'

"With all due respect sir, Jerusalem is sacred to all three of the world's major religions. Christianity argues that Christ walked the streets. Judaism has the Wailing Wall. It is unfair to take the city away from them." I said. 'I began to have the feeling I was playing right into his hands.'

Kaliva smiled: "I knew you would say that, so I came prepared. We would under my chairmanship be prepared to name another city as a capital. But, we designate Jerusalem a special administrative region. We have the city ruled by a council of 30 people including a mayor: 15 Jews, 15 Arabs, with the Mayor's seat rotating every 3 years so that one term it's a Jew, the next an Arab. "

I thought this over; it could work. It was the solution that the moderate Israelis were looking for. The threat as ever came from the extremists on both sides.

"I will table it for further discussion." I replied. We paused.

"Second issue: the shape of a Palestinian State."

"Ah, now the crux of the issues. I would want the West Bank, and part of Gaza." Nazir began the discussion. I took a sip of water before replying:

"It would have to be a long-term plan. The Israelis would need time to draw up their plans for and implement withdrawal from the settlements. They would need to re-deploy troops. You would need to quell any opposition, ready your defense forces, and choose your cabinet. " I rhymed off the chores that would need doing before the actual independence took place.

"My people have a timetable of about a year for all of this to take place." Nazir said.

'A year: That underestimates the will of Hamass, the fact that he isn't even Chairman yet plus the resistance the Israelis are going to run into in trying to move their own people.'

"That is a little optimistic." I replied.

"You will find Mr. Lyman, that we Muslims are nothing if not an optimistic people." He smiled. We were both silent; it was his turn to start the conversation.

"My people would get the help they needed; the money to build their own homes, businesses. I would build a peaceful Palestine that is not only prosperous but one that treats the Israelis with respect. My Palestine would not forget the part that your country has played in its formation either Mr. Lyman." Nazir informed me.

It seemed a pretty positive note on which to end our meeting, and time I should prepare for the trip home. My companion seemed to have the same idea of ending; he rose from his seat. I followed his lead and stood up:

"I thank you for meeting with me Mr. Lyman, our discussions have been quite interesting." Nazir held out his hand.

"Yes, they certainly have. You have given me a lot to think about and tell my colleagues about." I said. He clasped my hand:

"My Allah keep you well Mr. Lyman."

"And you as well Mr. Kalvia" I replied. He left the restaurant, and I waited five minutes then followed switching on my cell phone after I had exited the building. I had one message from Abbey; wheels up was to be at 3:30 pm.

I had just about an hour or so to get packed and see Donna. Less than 20 minutes later I managed to check out of my hotel and make it to the hospital. I entered to find Donna watching television. I stood in the doorway and heard her laugh at something, and filed it away in my memory. I continued on into the room and pulled up the chair to the side of her bed. She responded by clicking the television off, and we sat in silence for countless minutes.

"I love you too. I didn't say it earlier because I was so shocked, it seemed so sudden the way you said it." Donna broke the silence with the statement that I had been longing to hear.

'Damn it, how unfair is this, we finally admit we love each other and I have to leave town.' I leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Abbey and I have to leave in an hour." I managed to choke out.

"The mid-east thing?" She asked.

"It turns out that it may be a little more than a rumour. I have to be at home, it'll be an all-hands on deck type of thing." I replied. I watched a worried expression come across her face. As usual she knew exactly what was going through my mind:

"It's really okay. The President needs you. We'll talk as soon I'm back in Washington."

I raised my watch to check the time: 2:45 pm. I had 45 minutes to get to the airport. I leaned over and kissed her again:

"I have to get going, our plane leaves soon."

"Have a good flight. Tell everybody I miss them."

"Yeah." I smiled, showing the dimples.

"Bye Josh." She smiled back. I took one last look at her, memorizing every detail of how she looked just then, and left the room. As I walked towards the front of the hospital I realized that although she smiled at me, the smile had just a tinge of sadness to it. I felt the first twinge of guilt begin at that- I didn't want to leave her, and I didn't want her to feel sad.

I boarded the plane and noticed Mrs. Bartlet was in the process of making herself comfortable on a couch to one side of the cabin. I took up a seat on the opposite wall, and absorbed myself in becoming comfortable.

"You didn't have to come back you know." She started. I sighed in response, as the twinge of guilt began to grow into a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm needed in Washington, with the others. Remember: A frustrated Bartlett…" I left off. Abby was silent, and rolled her eyes in response. She also smiled slightly, and left the matter alone. I had the funniest feeling that it was going to be a long plane ride.

We landed around 7 hrs later in D.C., and were greeted by the motorcade, and wet, rainy weather. I let the First Lady lead the way down the stairs and into the motorcade. We arrived at the Whitehouse within about 20 minutes. Abby for her part escaped to the residence, while I attempted to sneak quietly into my office, a feat which, I should know better than to even attempt to do.

"The President wants a briefing in a half hour, and Toby wants a few minutes." Nancy accosted me as I made my way across the bullpen.

'I'm defeated, by an assistant with radar.' I thought to myself as I wearily made my way into my office and sat my backpack down on my desk. I looked around for Toby, as I sunk into my chair, considering that maybe I might actually get to sleep. I tried shutting my eyes, and only had time to blink once before Toby slammed my door.

"Forgot how to knock?" I asked, rubbed suddenly the wrong way by his entry.

"Your guy must have blown his cover." He informed me, the anger rising in his voice.

"Excuse me… No hi, no how was your flight Josh, no, how's Donna." Toby was silent. I waited for him to explain.

"On CNN, there was a spokesperson for Chairman Farat, formally accepting an invitation from the white house to a summit at Camp David." Toby said. I rubbed my hands over my eyes.

"A leak, that's what it had to be. I met with the guy, and he seemed pretty reasonable. He had some very interesting solutions to the problems of the area." I said, silently denying the possibility that he could have run and told that quickly.

"I have to brief Kate and the President in five minutes. I should clean up a bit." I said dismissing him.

"How is Donna?" Toby asked, his tone gentle.

"She's much better. Her parents were on their way over there to be with her." I said, as I gave a sad smile. Toby left the office, and I got ready to brief the President.

I walked towards the Oval, and paused at Debbie's desk. She looked up, and peered through the open door at the President then back at me:

"How is he tonight?" I asked.

"In fine form. Just as cranky as…"

" Do come in and make yourself comfortable Joshua. And Debbie, don't think I didn't hear that." The President gently admonished his assistant from the doorway.

"You always do." I heard Debbie mutter as she returned to her desk.

For my part I followed the President back into the office, and settled myself on the sofa opposite him. We waited for a few moments in silence before Kate came in. Bartlet and I stood on ceremony and she sat down on the sofa next to me. The two glanced at me, and I told them about my meeting and at the end of it, they saw the same possibilities.

"But there's apparently a problem. Toby said something about a Farat spokesperson formally accepting an invitation…" I left off. Kate and Bartlet glanced at each other.

"We didn't issue any formal invitation, we were only putting out feelers to see if there was any interest for one on his part." Kate told me.

"Then how…" I was interrupted by Leo's entrance into the room:

"It appears that Nazir Kaliva is dead. He was brutally beaten in an alley." The three of us were silent with shock. Bartlet was the first to speak furrowing his brow:

"You say appears to be dead. So there's a chance that he's not."

"The body that was found was so badly mutilated that there's almost no chance of a positive ID. They would have to use dental records." Leo said.

"I guess we've got to invite Farat now." Bartlet said, his shoulders taking on a defeated posture.

* * *

Want this to continue?

If so send me one review, and I will.

Also be kind, and remember this is my first effort at a first-person narration.

-A.B.


	7. White House Women: Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The last time I checked I didn't own the characters on the West Wing… But it doesn't stop me from wishing I did.

Author's notes:

1. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

2. C.O.S Change of scenery

3. Italics emails

* * *

Whitehouse Women: Chapter #7

"You're looking wonderful Kemo Sabi." CJ greeted me sarcastically.

"Thanks." I replied. It had been four days since I returned, three of them at the office. I was tired, groggy, and had a 5'o clock shadow- and it was only 9 am… I also wouldn't have it any other way. I self-consciously straightened my rumpled shirt, as I surveyed her. She looked fairly well put together considering we'd been keeping the same hours. The difference: She had a couch in her office. I took a sip of cold coffee, and spit it into the cup.

"I think we may have enough votes to swing the peacekeeping bill, and the agenda for the summit is into its 4th draft." I informed her, feeling very little like small talk. I rubbed my eyes in a gesture of fatigue and glared at the coffee cup, saying nothing. I swear I just made that coffee a couple hours ago, or was it three.

"That's great, it means we'll have at least another positive news cycle before we have to say the summit failed, and both parties have gone home." C.J. being ever the realist remarked.

I hesitated before I continued the conversation. Donna had called at some point during the night, probably after I had dozed off to sleep. She left a message saying she would be home on Friday- two days from now.

"Donna called me. She said she'd be back on Friday. She told me to remind you to pick her up." CJ continued it for me.

I sighed; I didn't know what to do. Part of me remembered what happened in Germany, how we connected, finally told each other how we felt. The other part of me knew that I had to give her some space, to deal with what she had been through, and then approach her. I was torn, I wanted her, and I was determined not to blow it this time by rushing things. It was clear that C.J. expected me to say something.

"Yeah, thanks. Is that all?" I asked, in an effort to hurry her along, so I could brood. C.J took the hint, and moved to leave but before doing so made one last comment:

"You have something with her: A second chance. If you blow it, and hurt her in any way, I will find a way to make your life very miserable." I nodded; blissfully unaware that this would not be the first time that I would get asked about my treatment of Donna.

The second time came later after a staff meeting. I was sitting in my office revising for the fifth time the schedule of the summit. I _was_ busy. But that never stops the first lady, and I should have remembered that. She walked into my office as I finished a phone call, and sat down. I made a note on the print out in front of me, and tapped my pen in rhythm on the desk re-reading what I had just written- I was prepared for a battle of wills, no matter what I would not say the first word…. I lasted all of two minutes. Yet another thing, I should have remembered; you didn't get into a battle of wills with the first lady because she wins every time.

"Could I help you with anything Mrs. Bartlet?" asked. She moved to shut the door and came back, then made herself comfortable in a chair.

"I'll make this brief. C.J. tells me that Donna's back on Friday." I nodded confirming it.

"And you're going to pick her up at the airport?" She continued. I made a mistake; I hesitated before answering, and even then I never answered her straight:

"I hope to, should time allow, yes."

"You're bullshitting me Lyman." I averted her gaze, realizing that whatever I said now would only make my situation worse. She took pity on me and rose from her chair and crossed to mine and placed a hand on my shoulder:

"I'll make sure you get the time off. You need to be there for her, the first one she sees when she gets off that plane."

I nodded relaxing slightly. She made her way to the door of my office, satisfied that her mission was complete.

"One last thing; what we talked about in Germany, goes for this country as well: If you hurt Donna I will make your life a living hell. Understand?" I nodded mute. 'It's fantastic that everyone expects that I'll screw up.' I thought to myself sarcastically.

Abby left, and soon after Leo stuck his head in. 'Great, all I need is a marching band, and some clowns and it's a parade right here in my office.' Leo shut the door and sat down:

"It's confirmed: It's Kaliva's body." He cut straight to the point- he always did, and that's something I had to admire about him.

"So that means it could be a spy. Someone in his own camp tipped off Farat's people…" I began speculating.

"It could be that yeah. It could also be someone from a terrorist group. Hamass, or Hezbollah. If you ask me, that's more likely." Leo continued.

"Yeah probably." I replied.

I hesitated before I brought up the next topic- Leo's doubts about the whole process. I took a page from his book; I started the conversation off with honesty:

"What do you think about this whole quest for peace the President's on?"

"What I think is that the Middle East, is a quagmire, that American Presidents for years have felt this uncontrollable urge to solve, and Bartlet has been no different. Every time we've gotten close, one side breaks faith with the other and we're back to square one. This time though, it's different; vehicles carrying _American Citizens_ have been blown up, and he sees it as some kind of act of hostility. And all of a sudden, the Middle East is his ticket, his personal problem to solve. He thinks that once he gets these two men here, and suggests his idea of peacekeeping- a large portion of those peacekeepers will be American by the way, in cooperation with a peace arrangement that it will be okay, the situation will end. It won't end Josh, somebody will break the deal, and the other will retaliate. We'll lose lives there Josh." Leo answered.

I was silent for a while. I never heard him so brutally honest, or so emotional. I could see where he was coming from, after his experiences with the white house during the Vietnam war- he saw a quagmire there, so when he talked about it, I believed him.

"Have you told the President how you feel?" I asked. I noticed his shoulders sag and a troubled look take over his eyes:

"I've tried. Believe me I've tried, but it doesn't work. He listens, but he doesn't hear me- He's hell bent on getting something done here. Now part of that may be the attack on American citizens, on his watch, or the fact that he's looking around for a legacy- and what better to leave than to make a lasting peace in the Middle East. He wants this to work Josh. And he won't hear any opposition. And so, because I serve at the pleasure of the President of these United States, I keep my mouth shut- or at the very least my objections a lot more diplomatic."

I considered Leo for a moment- the man that was a second father to me. He was always so supportive, always honest, and wise enough when to be a diplomat, and when to be brutally honest with someone. He also was always healthy, had a twinkle in his eye, and a bounce in his step. But now as I looked at him, I realized that he looked aged; he had dark circles under his eyes. His shoulders were hunched and he seemed thinner. From my perch on the side of my desk I could also tell that he was breathing was slightly laboured.

"Are you feeling all right?" I asked. He looked puzzled by the question.

"Yeah, why?' He answered.

"It's just… You look tired. You should go home and get a few hours sleep." I suggested. Just to spite himself, he yawned.

"Have you gotten together with Margaret? She's been trying to get me to go home since sometime yesterday." Leo commented half-teasing. He yawned a second time:

"All right I will. Only because Margaret has been practically threatening me, if I don't."

I smiled in response, and commented:

"And you're afraid of Margaret aren't you?" I asked. He played along, and nodded.

"It's okay, a little fear of the women in this White House is healthy. It keeps things moving, it gets the juices flowing." I smiled again.

"I should go, I just came by to fill you in on Kaliva. Be sure everyone knows that I'm going home for a few hours okay?" Leo said, rising to leave.

"I will. Have a good sleep Leo." I call after him. I follow him, and stick my head in the other offices of the senior staff, beckoning them to the conference room.

Once all were settled I announced the news about Leo, and what he had told me about Kaliva. Toby immediately spoke up:

"Terrorists don't just beat one person to death, then withdraw. They go large; they kill people on massive scales. So I would say it isn't any of the known groups. It would have to be a mole."

Toby is the paranoid one, so it wasn't surprising he would jump to the possibility of the mole.

"That very reason is why the terrorists would do it. It's unexpected. I have information indicating that it was that- likely the Eastern Star Brigade." Kate added.

"Leo thought so too, only he didn't name specific groups." I said.

"Terrorists just don't do that." Toby persisted.

"You're falling prey to stereotypes Toby. They do whatever is the least expected of them. A single attack like this is what we don't expect." Kate retorted. Toby backed down realizing that she was the one that would know.

"So what do we do now? Retaliate on our own? Authorize the Israelis to retaliate…" He left off.

"Nobody authorizes the Israelis to do anything. We wait and see what they will do. No pressure. If their pattern holds, they view it as an attack on their own soil kill the assassins."

"What if they break pattern?" I asked. Kate looked at me puzzled.

"What if they consider this an internal matter amongst the Palestinians and break their pattern, stay out of the fight?" Kate furrowed her brow, as she struggled to think of an answer.

"The Israelis. What if it was Israeli extremists? Think about it. The extremists see only one victor: Israel, compromise is not an option. The extremists attack, and kill a viable alternative to Farat, and nix the peace process." Toby thought out loud.

Kate's head snapped up in surprise:

"It is a possibility. Extremists at best are unpredictable. Good thought Toby."

"I usually like to come up with one every month or so." Toby wryly answered.

"Solutions?" I asked, wanting to move the meeting along.

"Our best bet would be just to wait and see what the Israelis will do, it is after all their territory. Worse case scenario, they do nothing." Kate thought out loud.

"And if they respond with armed action?" I asked.

"If they do, then we apply pressure where, and when appropriate. We make plans to get our staff, and interests out of the area. It's all we can do." Kate responded.

"So it's a wait and see. But we need to be prepared in case of both. C.J.: I want you to prepare press releases and briefing notes that roughly outlining our course of action, Kate I want you to take a meeting with the Generals in both army and navy- see where exactly our interests in the region are located and what it would take to get our people out of there. You'll brief the President with me in an hour. Toby you and Will are to keep working on remarks for the Summit, but I'd like you to be ready in case we need remarks written for the President, or meetings taken. Remember: Leo is not to be disturbed under any circumstances. So everything is to run through me. That's it people."

I dismissed the meeting, and everybody scattered. Toby hung back, and I could see he wanted to say something.

"The rumours are true aren't they?" he asked me. I kept my face unreadable, which wasn't too hard, because I didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

He clarified:

"It's been tense here lately, particularly while you've been gone. Leo and the President, they've been civil to each other but that's it. The President has been cutting him out of the loop bit by bit. At first we thought it wouldn't last. They were good friends- nearly brothers it couldn't last right. But we were wrong about that, and as time went on, it got worse. The President wouldn't talk about it, and neither would Leo. So we were left to speculate."

I carefully steadied my tone, and kept my face unreadable. I did not want to betray what Leo told me, or the gnawing guilt that was starting to grow in my gut.

"I left and I'm sorry. Maybe it was wrong of me to leave, but I had to do it." I said.

He was clearly disgusted with me:

"That's all you can say is that you're sorry. You're sorry for leaving the staff here with virtually no direction; sorry for deserting your boss, our friend- somebody that has saved your sorry ass countless times. You're sorry that you left us holding the bag while you went half-way across the world chasing after a girl…"

I cut him off:

"My head wasn't in the game. I was worried about Donna, and Leo understood that and let me go. I'm sorry I left you guys holding the bag, sorry that you had go through that, it must have been an awkward time. I needed to go there, and now that everything's all right, I can be fully here; I can concentrate on this work. And as for Leo, he did come to see me earlier in order to tell me that he was going home to rest for a few hours."

We were silent, and Toby leaned against the table eyeing me speculatively. My face was still unreadable, and Toby had no idea what went on between Leo and I earlier.

"Go back to work Toby." I suggested strongly. In response Toby left the room, leaving me alone.

I made my way back to my office broodingly. There was an obvious rift between the President and Leo, and there was no ignoring that. I had been back barely a week, and I could see it, I could feel the tension in the air. And I couldn't ignore the way Leo looked earlier in my office- so defeated looking, like he had lost his best friend.

But was I to blame for that? Was I to blame for the difference of opinion? If I didn't leave, would it have been different? Would I have been the one able to smooth the way between these old, yet stubborn friends?

On the other hand, if I hadn't gone, my head would have elsewhere than on my work- and that could lead to worse and more frequent screw-ups than was usual for me. No, it was better that I went. This way I would be able to focus on work, and avoid the mistakes.

Not only that, but I was able to cement the connection with Donna. I faced the fact that I had taken her for granted, and it took until now for it to sink past my stubbornness and into my brilliant mind. Once it did, I acted on it, and I can't regret that.

My staying here would not have changed a thing, and may have led to more screw-ups because I wouldn't have my head in the game. Toby was wrong, and I was right- all was right with the world.

* * *

Well, that's it for another update…

To get me to post more: Review…

-A.B.


	8. White House Women: Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them… If only I did…

Author's notes:

1. This chapter is dedicated to John Spencer

2."" Dialogue, '' thoughts

3Italics: email

Reviews: Yes please

* * *

Chapter #8: White House Women

"Good morning Joshua, rise and shine. I'll be by to pick you up within a half hour." A voice told me over the phone. I managed to clearly identify it as belonging to C.J. She was having way too much fun waking me up. I quickly woke up the rest of the way as I realized that I was to be at Camp David in a few hours and stumbled into the kitchen putting on the pot of coffee to brew while I finished with my morning routine.

Leo did go home and rest after we had talked. He had a good 12 hours of sleep, and came back; the only problem was he managed to look pale, and more haggard than before. The President was freezing him out of the big decisions, and keeping me in on them, asking my advice on many issues, and surprisingly taking it. Usually when this happened I would do the Lyman strut around the White House until somebody (usually Donna) threatened me with physical harm.

It was quite odd really; I should have been enjoying this, reveling in the fact that the President liked me enough to not only listen but to take my advice on major national issues. But I wasn't; instead I was tired, and very stressed out; which was new to me, because I always liked- no: loved my job. Effectively though because of the situation with Leo I was doing two jobs.

C.J. arrived as I finished my cup of coffee, in an all-too cheerful mood.

"And how are you this delightful morning Josh?" She asked me. I hesitated, as the caffeine hadn't taken effect, so I was unable to articulate any response short of a grunt.

"Into single-syllable words today are we?" she asked me. I repeated, the previous response.

I put my cup inside the dishwasher, grabbed the travel mug, and filled it then we left. She opened the trunk to her car, and I noticed her bag- or should I say bags plural in there and shoved them aside.

"Don't event think it Joshua." She warned me. I put on my innocent face:

"Where's your kitchen sink?" I asked.

"That's your one freebie, after the next one it's fair game." She responded. I was silent. We got in the car, and picked Toby up. We were silent for about a half hour before C.J. began to make small talk.

"So Donna gets back today." She mentioned.

"Yeah, today in about 6 hours or so. I do plan to be there to meet her at the airport." I answer.

I peered into the rearview mirror and notice Toby staring sightlessly out the window, his arms folded in a defensive posture. He just rolled his eyes in response to our conversation, and never said a word. I could tell he still thought I was wrong for leaving them, and that he would never change his mind; just as I would never change mine. Luckily, C.J. realized the growing tension within the car and let the conversation peter out. So we drove the rest of the way in silence and got to Camp David in less than 3 hours. The First Lady greeted us after we arrived:

"Great you guys made it. I trust the ride was okay?"

"It was fine Ma'am. Not much traffic." C.J. answered for us, and the two of us moved for our bags. Toby and I each lifted our own bags out and pulled them towards the lodge where the President exited the doors and met us on the stairs.

"The three of you made it. Good; your bedrooms are upstairs the first three doors on the second floor."

"Yes sir," we muttered in unison. C.J. struggled with her two bags, and eventually balance them both and followed us. The President looked at her strangely and commented:

"I hope you left something in your apartment Claudia."

C.J. smiled in response:

"Yes Mr. President I can assure you that there is plenty left in my apartment."

I looked away in an attempt to hide my snicker at the exchange, but when I looked back in her direction, C.J. still gave me a dirty look. I sighed; clearly there was no winning sometimes. I made my way past where the President stood, and he put his hand on my arm to stop me.

"I need to see you in five minutes in my office." I nodded, and quickly moved to put my bag in my room, then made my way down to the office.

He looked up from his desk, and beckoned me inside where I sat down on a sofa. I still had no idea what this might be about, so I just sat surveying my surroundings. I noted the slight changes in décor- a new painting above the fireplace, a new paint job on the walls; this time they were a forest-green. He took his time and organized the papers into a neat pile then moved to sit in a lounge chair.

"Leo won't be joining us here this weekend." He informed me.

I was silent, in shock at the ramifications of it; if Bartlet had Leo absent at something as big as this might mean that he was fired, and I was the new Chief-of-Staff. I should be happy at that, excited for it, but instead I was sad, and angry. I was sad because if it was at the expense of my friend, especially like this then I didn't want the job; and angry because it wasn't right that Leo should be treated in such a disrespectful way, and it wasn't right that a lifetime of friendship should be put at risk like that. Besides: Leo had a wealth of information to draw on, and I had… a meeting where I got to play spy with a dead man. He should be here I should be babysitting at the White House.

"Wow, Josh Lyman, silent. I should do something to commemorate this very rare occurrence. And I made him that way, increasing the sense of occasion" the President quipped.

I looked him in the eye and answered:

"Leo has a wealth of knowledge and experience in these things and you need to draw on that. Sir you need to take advantage of that, _I_ need to take advantage of that. Sir I want to do an effective job for you, I really do. But my job, my position in your administration is to be that bulldog, to bully congressmen and senators into cowering before you in awe, and advancing your agenda. And Leo- he's the diplomat, he smoothes the way after I've gone to far, he puts the icing on the cake. I can't be effective without him sir. I _need _himyou _need_ him."

The President was silent for a moment and regarded me, with a strange look on his face. I decided that I didn't care if he fired me that moment, didn't care if he yelled at me. All else was secondary to Leo, to my friendship with him.

Bartlet just sighed as he shrugged:

"Lyman if you feel that you can't do the job, then Zeigler would be willing to take it I'm sure."

Boy did he know the right buttons to push; Toby would love the chance to boss me around. I just pictured him with that knowing smirk, and thought of how much I'd like to wipe it off his face.

I sighed: "I can do the job sir." In typical Lyman fashion I decided to go on, and dig myself in deeper:

"You're letting your professional differences with Leo get in the way of your personal relationship… You need him right now. He is your dearest friend; he knows you like none of us do. You've trusted him with your professional life more than once; in hiring us; he's the one that held it together during the MS crisis and at Rosslyn. Now the way it looks to me is that you're ready to throw that all away over something as simple as a difference of opinion- I thought you encouraged differences within your administration."

"Are you finished?" He asked me. I nodded mutely, and then he continued:

"I usually do tolerate difference of opinion in my staff, but for now. Now, I need unity within my staff; they have to be behind me no matter what happens next. As much as I care for Leo as a friend, but with an issue this big the professional had to take precedence over the personal."

I could see the pain on his face as we talked; he was plainly as hurt as Leo was, he was just keeping it inside. He sighed, and his expression shuttered again. He thought a moment before moving in our discussion.

"I want you to go through statements that Will and Toby are drafting, add anything you think of, then pass them onto C.J, she can have them passed out at her first briefing tomorrow. Mention nothing of this conversation to either one of them. As far as they know, Leo is working out of the White House, nothing more." The President instructed me. I nodded in response:

"Is that all?"

"For now, you can go. I want you and Kate to brief me on the situation when she gets here." Barlet answered me. I left the room, feeling deflated; I had tried to get my point across about Leo, but clearly either I wasn't being clear enough, or the President refused to hear it. I made my way to the living room where the rest of the staff was camped out with their laptops.

"Hey, can I run something by you?" Will glanced up at me expectantly.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." I said, my voice flat. I let my mind drift as he read the statement he'd drafted for the President, and nodded absently. I still heard the President's voice saying that he needed unity in his staff that as much as he cared for Leo as a friend, the professional had to take precedence over the personal. The main consequence of that was that Leo would be fired, no longer a part of the staff. The White House without Leo, now that would be something to see; no more big block of cheese day- I suppose that maybe wouldn't be such a bad thing but it kind of grew on you after a while.

"Josh, Josh. Come on man, snap out of it." Will snapped his fingers to emphasize it. I blinked and wondered how long he'd been calling my name.

"I asked you what you thought of the statement."

"Oh, that; it sounds good Will- good work." I assured him, off-handedly. He picked up on the distraction in my voice:

"Did you even listen to what I read?" he asked.

"No." I finally admitted.

"You seem off your game, want to talk about it?" He asked, some concern in his tone. I silently cursed his normally useful intuitiveness, and glanced at my watched and noted the time: 2 hours until Donna's plane touched down, which means an hour until I could leave for a break. In the meantime I needed to tell the eager beaver, something to throw him off the scent. Instead of lying to him, telling him some sop story about Donna I decided to tell him the truth.

"Leo won't be joining us this weekend." I paused for dramatic effect.

"That means he's fired." Will said. Give the boy points for jumping to that conclusion.

"It looks that way, although the President never said one way or the other." I answer letting the weariness show in my voice.

"I had no idea things were that bad." Will sadly remarked.

"Just what exactly did happen when I was gone?" I asked, slightly irritated. It was as if the rest knew something that I didn't, and needed a secret decoder ring to understand.

"Nothing, just… tension. The President increasingly relied on the rest of us, and froze Leo out. And Leo routinely walked around the White House looking as if he lost his best friend. One of us tried approaching him about it, but he wouldn't talk about it." Will explained.

"I see." It was all I could say, I still felt guilty about not being there to pitch in; maybe if I was, I would have been able to get through to them. I sighed:

"Read the statement again."

"The President, and First Lady are honoured to welcome the Prime Minister of Israel, and the Leader of the PLO. The three men have much to discuss, and although all know that any permanent peace will take time, it is hoped that they will make steps towards it." Will finished.

"It says something, without saying something, all style, and no substance." I commented.

"I tried to tell him that." Toby chimed in, I twisted around to find that the permanent scowl had entered the room and was typing away at his laptop.

"And you have a better idea?" I winced, as I realized that was the wrong question to ask him; he had an answer for everything; right nor wrong.

"Mention something about proposals to be discussed regarding Jerusalem, and the West Bank. Give some credit to both sides for having some ideas, and, say we have a very productive weekend planned." He answered.

"Ah. Good idea Toby, thanks." Will replied in a tone that was a mixture of thankfulness, and sucking up to his boss. I glanced at my watch: I had to be out of there in five minutes if I was to meet Donna's flight.

"Great start to the statements, I'll come check on them in a bit." I attempted to make my hasty exit. Key word: attempted, I was nearly home free, when I nearly bumped into Kate Harper behind a stack of briefing books. Lovely.

"I was just coming to find you so we could get together on what we wanted to tell the President." She greeted me. Right, brief the President. And here I thought I could keep my word to Donna, and actually show up when I said I was going to for once. She led me into an empty lounge, where we both sat down, her on a couch, and I in an easy chair. She spread the briefing books out over the oak coffee table- which was a good thing that it was oak- the briefing books were some of the thicker ones I've ever encountered, which, shouldn't have surprised me considering it's intelligence matter. She pulled out a photo, and placed it on top, and pointed to it.

"That's Rasheed Abdul-El Farad. He was born in Yemen in 1928, and moved to Palestine- in 1948, where he married and fell in love with a French woman: Sophianna Jeceau. They separated five years later in 1953, after having only one child. He threw himself into the cause of a Palestinian state, founding and leading his own political party: The Palestinian Liberators. His party has not had a clear majority in the Palestinian parliament, and so it has been forced to make loose alliances with the other parties on an issue-by-issue basis.

Internally, the PLP is able to get some limited business of government done, but when it comes to the bigger question of peace with Israel, it is unable to come to any kind of agreement; the precarious alliance is non-existent, and there's fragmentation going on within his own party. And nobody is able to control the more violent factors of Hamass, and Hezbollah, making any kind of peace a near impossibility." She rhymed off the bio.

"So, he'd be very receptive to the peacekeeping idea. Peacekeepers would help him stabilize forces, help him get control over his own authority." I began thinking aloud. She nodded encouragement, as I continued.

"The problem though with it, is that we have to attempt to appear as neutral as we can, we cannot afford to appear as if we're propping up Farad, because once we leave, there goes his protection and we're right back where we started. But stabilization of the PLO has to be a major priority. Tell me, what does he say about Jerusalem?"

"He wants it, whole and unified under his authority. He argues that he's entitled to it because of the Dome Of The Rock, and other holy sites located within East Jerusalem." She answered. She pulled out the next picture:

Prime Minister Abraham Olvert, leader of the Israelis for Peace party. He's widowed with a couple of adult children. He, like Farad is able to make Parliament work on a series of alliances on an issue-by-issue basis. As the party name indicates they want a peaceful Israel, which attracts moderates, and even some extremists from all other parties in Parliament.

Where they disagree, is how that goal ultimately should be achieved; his party believes in peaceful negotiation; that Farad can be talked to, and reasoned with. Meanwhile, other parties believe that the way to peace is to blow away the opposition; Israel would be the only one standing. And as for Jerusalem: He wants it, unified under his administration."

'Three stubborn men, in one cabin: it was either going to be a recipe for peace, or an episode of Survivor gone horribly wrong.' I thought to myself.

"What about a Palestinian State?" I asked the next question

"Farad wants Gaza, and part of the west bank, with Jerusalem as his capital. And Olvert has not yet said what he's willing to give up- there are settlements all along the West Bank, that are going to cause problems if he chooses to evacuate them- not to mention any possible divisions within his cabinet." Kate answered.

"They're relying on us then, to play diplomat; try to split a limited amount of land, and a city that means so much to everyone. It's going to be a very long weekend." I remarked.

"I have a feeling, that that is an understatement." Kate replied.

"We're ready to brief him?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's go." She led the way down the hall back the way we'd come. I stopped just outside the door as I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket- I answered it:

"Lyman." There was a pause.

"Josh, it's Donna," she replied. Uh, oh, I'd really done it now.

"I'm really sorry I missed your flight, I got sidetracked by the summit." I was apologetic; I really didn't want to screw this up.

"It's okay, I got an early flight. Leo actually came and met me at the airport." She brushed off my apology.

"Leo's actually why I'm calling. I'm at the hospital with him Josh; he's had a heart attack." Donna told me, her voice heavy with sadness. I was stunned silent for a few moments.

"W-When did it happen?" I stammered out.

"We'd just returned to the White House, he was helping me settle back into my cubicle and we'd just sat down for a while before he'd go back to work. He looked so drawn, and pale. I asked him what was wrong, and shrugged his shoulders, just telling me he was just tired. He hadn't had much sleep the last few days. We decided to go down to the canteen to get a coffee, and by the time we got a table he was panting. He couldn't get his breath, and passed out."

"Is Margaret there with you?" I asked with great concern.

"Yeah, sh-she's back at the office, trying to get a hold of Mallory. She said she'd join me " Donna managed to get out between sobs. She stopped crying finally:

"Josh?" She called.

"Yeah," I responded.

"Would you come here, I really need a friend." She said at last. I gulped as I heard the fear, and loneliness in her voice, and knew that once again I had to be the strong one. Donna had to come first, and my friendship with Leo had to come first, all else could wait. I gave a heavy sigh:

"I'll be there in a few hours."

"Alright, just be careful Josh." She told me, the relief evident in her voice. I hung up sighing, and slowly made my way into the office.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Mr. President, Kate." I addressed the waiting pair. Bartlet gave a smile, and wink at Kate:

"It's okay, Kate was just filling me in on some of her C.I.A. exploits." Kate indulgently smiled.

I let go of the breath I was holding in an audible sigh. Kate, and the President looked at me expectantly.

"That was Donna on the phone. She was at the hospital, with Leo. Leo had a heart attack." I kept it short and sweet. The President appeared as if I'd physically struck him, and a stunned silence filled the room.

* * *

And that ends that chapter of this story

Up next: Possibly switching the First Lady's point of view


	9. White House Women: Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I still don't own the West Wing… yet..

Author's notes:

1. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

2. C.O.S.: Change of Scenery

3. Italics mean an email

Reviews: Yes please: D

* * *

Chapter #9: White House Women

The elevator doors opened on the Cardiology unit at Washington General Hospital, and I walked out, and turned to my left towards Leo's room, #327; I kept repeating it to myself as I passed the rooms, after each doorway a bench along the wall in between it and the next. I reached the corner, and saw benches along both sides, then looked down to the next corner, and saw a lone figure seated. I looked at the numbers on the doors, and quickly calculated that it was Leo's room. I could see a feminine profile, but was unable to tell whether it was Mallory or Donna. I rounded the corner, and slowly approached the room, with my heart getting heavier with every stride.

I nearly broke down as I saw Donna seated on the bench; her leg stretched out in front of her. She was fiddling with a frayed edge of a cream-coloured scarf, her eyes staring straight ahead of her at some unseen point far off in the distance. She looked so alone, so defenseless. She looked up, in response to my footsteps, and her face showed signs of obvious recent tears.

"Mallory's gone to call her mom, let her know what's going on." Donna told me, as she focused on her scarf. I sat down next to her, and she instantly put her head down on my shoulder. It was a move that comforted me, as much as she was comforted. I was silent, my urgent questions waiting to be asked, but knowing that Donna would say more when she was ready.

She lifted her head up, and sat up straight once more:

"He's in an out of consciousness. The doctors… They need to do surgery, but with Leo unconscious; they have no consent. " I sighed:

"I'll go see what I can do about that. I'm his person." I explained as I got up again. I couldn't make myself say the rest of it. We'd signed the papers after Rosslyn; I was his medical power-of-attorney, He was mine. I never wanted to be in this position; somehow I always believed I never would be; Leo would outlast us all. He was the grizzled old Veteran of Vietnam, and 3 presidents, that had grown in stature to become perhaps even the biggest block of cheese of us all.

And now, here I was, about to play god with his life, and make the decision. There was no question, he should be given every chance to live, and come back to annoy us another day. But if I consented, and he died on the table, could I live with myself? Could other people- those closer to him, than I live with me? Or would they blame me for killing him?

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and looked up, shaking my head to be greeted by strange concerned face. I looked around, but found Donna had disappeared from sight.

"Josh Lyman?" the guy asked.

"Yes. And you are…" I asked. Whatever happened to people saying: "Hi my name is…"

"Dr . Sawyer." He answered. I drew up to my full height, and motioned that we should walk a little way down the hall towards the nurse's station. I didn't feel quite right about talking about Leo's condition in front of Leo's door.

"My friend says he's in and out of consciousness." I stated.

"He's in, and out as it were, because he's in a lot of pain and the best way to keep that under control is to keep him sedated. Mr. Lyman, the damage to your friend's heart, and arteries is quite extensive. We can repair the arteries via angioplasty, and clean in around the heart, but he's going to need some serious changes to his lifestyle; a new diet, his stress level considerably lowered. He'll need to exercise more, keep his blood pressure, and cholesterol under control

He paused to give me a chance to digest what he said. 'Stress level considerably lowered,' was certainly code for: find another job. This guy obviously didn't Leo very well; the White House was his life, the need to serve ingrained in him taking him out of it, would be like literally taking a fish out of water.

"But, we have some problems. The heart attack he had was dangerously close to the line between medium and severe. The heart wall is still very weak; but if we go in, and clean it out right now; something may trigger a fatal heart attack, and he may die on the table. On the other hand, the longer we wait, the stronger the possibility he may have a second heart attack. So essentially, his only chance is to do surgery. Second problem: You. You are his medical power-of-attorney, meaning, that as Mr. McGarry is incapacitated you get to make the decision to go ahead with this.

"What are the odds that he survives this?" I ask.

"With successful surgical intervention, he'll have a full recovery. Without it, to be perfectly honest, his time would be limited. He might die today or he might die next week. We can alleviate the pain, but that's all." Dr. Sawyer told me.

"I'll need a few minutes, I have to talk to his daughter, and let my friend know. There are some people who should be notified, as to his condition." I responded. He nodded, and left me alone.

I made my way slowly back down the hall. I still had no idea how this happened; how I somehow stumbled into actually being responsible for somebody else's life. He's my mentor, a father figure. He's somebody I looked up to, and wanted to emulate- and I was responsible for him. He's the best friend to the leader of the free world, if I messed this one up…

"Josh: What did Dr. Sawyer say?" Donna asked me.

"He either has surgery, or he dies. And even if he does have surgery, there's a chance he may die in the OR. He told me, that the heart wall is pretty weak right now, it's a risk operating on him, but an even bigger risk to wait and hope the heart wall gets stronger. He left the decision up to me." I said. She looked at me worriedly:

"You-You're going to decide to operate on him right? You have to, it's Leo." Her voice grew quiet at the end.

"I need a couple hours to process everything. Maybe in that time, he'll wake up, and be able to tell me what he wants." I hopefully speculated.

"Hi Josh," came a voice from behind me. I turned around, to see Mallory standing there.

"Hi." I didn't know what else to say; my mind was still trying to take it all in. Sorry about your father seemed kind of lame, as did the question of how he is, because I likely knew more than she did.

"My mom's on her way. She wants to be here, with me." Mallory said.

"Yeah, you need all the support you can get right now." I said, as I inwardly cringed, at how insensitive that sounded. I glanced at the doorway,

"He asked to see you- the last time he was awake." Mallory informed me, as she caught the glance. She flopped down on the bench beside Donna, visibly tired. I took off my jacket and put it on the bench beside Donna, and took a deep breath, and entered the hospital room.

I wasn't prepared for what I saw, when I entered. Leo, lay there, his eyes closed. The only sounds in the room were the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor, and the ventilator. I pulled the single visitor's chair up beside his bed and sat down.

"If you don't have surgery, you'll die, but if you have surgery, you might die in the OR. I know if I were in your position; I'd take the surgery. I'd want to be given the fighting chance, but I'm not in your position. I'm the one having to make that decision; I'm the one that has to decide what happens next. And to be perfectly honest, I know this sounds completely selfish; but I don't know if I could live with the guilt if you died on the operating table. But I know that I have to give you that chance; I know you're a fighter and will fight to come back to us. I just, need some assurances that I'm doing the right thing by you."

I looked away from him, and stared out the window, I'd said all I needed to say. I just needed to be at ease with my decision, so I sat back and put my head against the headrest of the chair. I must have dozed for a few hours, because the next thing I knew, the moonlight was shining through the crack in the blinds. I got up, and stretched, pacing to the window and looked out on a full moon lighting up the night sky. I turned back towards the room at a sudden sound, and found Leo slumped against his pillows looking up at me.

"Donna finally leave you, like I told her to?" He asked, noticing my worried look.

"No."

"Is she about the leave you?"

I smiled: "No."

"Then why do you look so worried?" He finally asked me.

"You need angioplasty, or you'll die; in your condition though, you may die in surgery. Donna called me, because I'm your person." I explained. We were both silent, as the only sound could be heard from Leo's breathing apparatus, as he sighed.

"I knew about it. They'd been sending me for tests for months; I had to see a cardiologist on a regular basis. He wanted to schedule me for surgery months ago, but I kept putting him off, using the job as an excuse. I kept hoping it wouldn't come to this." He rasped out.

I was silent, as I considered this latest bit of information. Putting off the surgery was so like Leo. He told none of us, not even the President, probably because we would argue, and in the end he would realize we were right and have it done anyway.

"They told me that I either had to reduce my stress level; which, is doctor-speak for quit the job, and diet, and exercise more. The second possibility was to have the surgery done, reduce stress and diet. And Josh, I couldn't quit the job; it's my life. I've spent my life making a difference, and since Jed got elected I've been making more of a difference than I ever thought possible. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I left the job; I was never much of a golfer, never had much time for any hobbies. I'd be lost without it. "

"You have Mallory." I stated. He smiled, sadly:

"Mallory doesn't need me anymore; she's always been so strong, stubborn, and independent…"

"Just like her father." I added.

"She has her own life now; she doesn't need me." I noticed his eyes locking onto something behind me, and turned around to see Mallory standing the doorway, tears beginning to stream down her face. I got up:

"I'll be back to see you later my friend. I'll schedule the surgery." I left them alone, and made my way out into the hall and sat down next to Donna. She took one look at me, and put her hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

"You're making the right decision." Donna reassured me.

"I have to go find the doctor, and make a few calls. Instead of staying seated, she got up and came with me. At some point as we made our way towards the Nurse's station, I looked down and noticed our linked hands. Donna always knew when I need comfort, and she always knew exactly what to do. Dr. Sawyer looked at me, and I quietly nodded. He flipped through a binder on the desk, then looked back up at me:

"Monday at 7 am." I nod my agreement. Dr Sawyer sighed:

"Realistically, you should know that Mr. McGarry may not make it to his surgery. There's a chance that he may even have another heart attack, which could be fatal. In that case, I need to know if you'd want a DNR put on him."

I set my jaw, and firmly answered: "No." My mind, refused to go there; refused to even consider the possibility that he could actually die before he even got the chance to fight for life. I felt Donna take her and back, and place it on my shoulder. She looked at the doctor:

"We'll be right back." She glanced at me, then turned and walked towards an empty room where she shut the door. She walked over to the window, dominating the wall opposite the door, and stared out of it, then turned toward me, and perched herself on the side of the bed.

"You're not thinking clearly. You need to think of Leo, and right now; right now you're thinking of yourself. You're thinking of how much you don't want to lose him, how much pain it would be if Leo died. You're thinking of how much he means to you, and perhaps worst of all; you're thinking of how much you'll be blamed if he dies, if how much guilt you'll bare if he dies."

She paused to take a breath, and I slumped into a chair. She wasn't right, but still she knew me way too well for my liking. I took the opportunity to jump in:

" He's fought for everything he has now. He's fought in wars, elections. He's fought to get legislation passed, and he's fought addictions. He's come too far, fought for too much not to fight through this. So, I will not even consider the fact that he won't make it through."

"Us assistants… We hear things- we see things too. We're far more observant than we look- _I'm far more observant than I look_. And what I've seen in Leo, is a very sad man. He's looked like he's losing his best friend, and maybe that's what's happened I don't really know. But for months now, he's walked around looking tired, and sad. He's been testier than usual towards Margaret, and the world at large. And I've noticed, that he's been frozen out of most decisions, and that- that has to hurt him on some level. She took another breath, and kept her eyes on me:

"All I'm saying is, think about what he would want; he wouldn't want to die like that hooked to machines. He is a fighter; you're right about that. But he deserves to die peacefully in his sleep. And keeping him alive, just seems to put him through a lot of unnecessary pain." Donna finished.

"You've said your piece, now let me say mine: Leo is going to make it through. Case closed, end of story. The DNR is not open for debate." I was firm with her, then softened my tone:

"Do you want a ride back to the White House?"

"No. I want to talk to Mallory, and maybe sit with Leo a while. I'll catch a cab back."

"Okay. I guess I'd better head back to Camp David." I said.

"Yeah." She acknowledged. I held the door open for her, and we made our way back down the hall. I continued on past Leo's room, and out the way I'd come, prepared for the drive out to Camp David.

* * *

Donna's point of view:

I watched as the most vexing man I've ever met in my life walked away from me… again. He still didn't get it- He still didn't get, that all he needed- all we needed for this thing to work between us, was for him to turn around, to stay in one place for just a minute. Instead he keeps walking away. And still I'm drawn to him, almost as if I'm a total glutton for punishment. But he makes me feel alive, he makes me feel passion; and that's highly addictive.

But he walked away from me, and this time I'm not going back. This time, I'm through with him, this time he can beg, borrow, and plead to get me back but I won't go back I refuse to put myself through that again. I know fully well that when I see him again, all the resolve goes out the window, I'll completely melt at a single smile, and then I won't be able get him out of my head.

* * *

Author's note:

I just couldn't resist throwing in a smidgeon of drama between our favourite couple. Hope you've enjoyed it.

I eagerly await your reviews, and constructive criticism.

Happy Reading…

-A.B.


	10. White House Women: Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own no characters associated with the West Wing, if I did the show would still be on the air.

Summary: See chapter #1

Author's notes:

1. C.O.S.: Change Of Scenery

2. "" Dialogue, '' thoughts

3Italics mean an email

4.We're switching back to Josh's POV, to start this chapter

5. 8888: Point of view switch

Reviews: Yes please

Chapter #10: White House Women

"Josh, are you there, earth to Josh." A voice called out to me. I'd zoned out again, something I'd been doing repeatedly since I'd returned to Camp David from the hospital. I'd been thinking about her again, about our argument over Leo. I'd been returning to our argument, and although I regretted the way I handled it, I still thought I was right. Leo would get through this, he had to; my mind refused to think otherwise.

I looked directly towards the source of the call; Will Bailey:

"The statement sounds good Will, I'll take it to him. C.J., once the statement is okayed, you and Toby can draft the press releases. That's it guys." I dismissed the meeting, where I updated them on Leo's condition, and left the drawing room with the statement. I had made my way halfway to Bartlet's office, when Toby caught with me.

"What was that about?" He asked me. I did a double take, not knowing what he was talking about.

"It was a staff meeting, what did you think it was about?" I asked. It figures, Toby would be into his pain-in-the-ass mode.

"You were distracted," He simply stated. There was silence, as I tried to follow his train of thought, in a flash I realized where this was going, and didn't like the destination.

"You would be too, if you'd just seen Leo like that." I defended myself. His tone grew louder:

"Yes I would be distracted, but I wouldn't let it overshadow my job. Agree with his policies or not, the President has asked us to a job this weekend to the best of our abilities. And you can't do that as distracted as you are."

I grew angrier in response:

"Would it honestly hurt you to show a little compassion, a little sympathy? Our boss, our friend is lying in a hospital room right now, not knowing if he'll even survive this. How I do my job, is a little trivial when you compare it to life and death."

"This job is life and death; what we do here this weekend, may mean the lives or deaths of millions of people throughout Israel," Toby continued. I was silent; I hate it when he's right.

"It's about her, isn't it?" His tone was still intense:

"You go after her, at the drop of hat. She's not some damsel in distress, she is more than capable of looking after herself."

I know that, but I still want to be there to be her friend. This concept seems to be a foreign one to him, or it may just be that he was angry or jealous that I actually had someone, while he was alone, and growing increasingly bitter. Regardless, he really knows how to push my buttons, and it was time to push back.

"I know. Toby, I don't know what went on with Andie, but you have got to stop taking it out on those around you. Because, that is far more damaging, than my 'running off at the drop of a hat' to Donna." I continued the argument. I saw him gulp:

"It's about you, and Donna. It's about how you are the golden child that can do no wrong around here; it's about how you got away with leaving in the midst of a crisis and we had to pick up the slack for you."

And there it was, we had arrived at the destination. I decided I had taken this argument as far as it would go, so I turned around and walked away.

"I'm not having this argument with you Toby." I quietly stated, and turned and walked on to the President's office.

"That's it Josh, walk away, like you do with everything." He called after me. I knocked on the door, and was told to come in; I must have looked pretty rough, as Bartlet took one look at me, and motioned for me to sit. I held out the folder, with the statement in it:

"Here's a draft statement for the summit." I lamely stated, and was quiet watching him put his glasses on, and read it.

"It sounds fine, just a couple of changes." Bartlet sat down at his desk, and took a pencil to mark what he wanted changed. He looked up at me:

"Leo's not good is he?" He asked. I cut straight to the point.

"No, he's not. He had a fairly severe heart attack. They're going to try angioplasty, but because the heart wall has weakened so much, there's a chance he may die. But without the surgery he will die."

"When's the surgery booked for?"

"I had it booked for Monday morning." I said. He looked at me realization dawning on him. I slowly nodded in response to the unasked question.

"To have the responsibility for another man's life is indeed an awesome thing." He remarked. I looked at him, and suddenly noted how vulnerable he looked, how much older and tired he looked. The fight with Leo was taking its toll, and I shuddered to think what would happen if Leo died. We both started, at a knock at the door.

"Come in." Kate appeared in response to the summons.

"Sir, the Israeli Prime Minister just landed at Andrews."

"Thanks Kate." Kate closed the door behind her.

"Is that all you had to talk to me about Josh?" He asked me. I gulped; it was all he needed to know for now.

"Yeah I should go finish up the statement. C.J is waiting for it, so she can release it to the press." I rose from the couch, to leave.

"If he dies, I don't blame you Josh." He remarked.

"I'll have the statement for your approval within the hour." I replied and left pulling the door shut behind me.

I began walking towards Toby's room, and yawned as the emotional roller coaster of the day caught up with me. It was a small comfort that Bartlet wouldn't blame me if Leo died. But any comfort I felt was negated by the fact that Toby seemed intent on going ten rounds with me every time he saw me. And Donna… I knew I couldn't leave things like that with her, I had to fix them at some point, but I didn't know how. I was stubborn, she was stubborn, and it seems best to let it be. Before I reached Toby, I found Will- the other half of the communications team, and the writer of the statement. He was also the one, I would much rather deal with, because if he got too smartassed I could just pull rank on him, and he'd do what I say.

"I've got the statement for you." Ipatted him on the shoulder, motioning for him to follow me.We went back to a lounge area on the 2nd floor, and he sat down, and quickly completed the assignment, and sent it to the wireless printer on the desk in his room. I waited while he retrieved it, and gave it to me without a word. Simple, straight, no smart remarks, and no fighting. It was glorious.

"I'll just give this to him, and see you later." I said, and turned to leave. I'd made it to the doorway, before he replied:

"Okay. And Josh, if he dies, I don't blame you."

I silently cursed: I'd almost made it.

* * *

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My husband has always been an easy person to read. When he's angry, he shouts at the top of his lungs, when he's happy, he constantly jokes. When he's frustrated he makes life a living hell for everyone around him, and when he's sad or melancholy about something, he gets this far away look in his eyes. Few can placate him when he's frustrated; I can; that's my job as his wife, Zoë can; she's our youngest and the favourite. And Leo can; he's Jed's best friend, and has known his moods, just about as long as I have.

When he's both frustrated and angry, it's nearly impossible to live with him. He'd been both, ever since the massacre that took the lives of Percy Fitzwallace, and others. He'd taken it upon himself to find a solution, to the problem; even if it meant freezing out his best friend. He is being stubborn, I know that, and somewhere inside him, he knows that. He's letting his anger motivate him into fixing the world his stubbornness is allowing him to believe that he has the power to fix it. Leo's another problem that he thinks, or wants to believe he can solve. Leo's in the hospital awaiting surgery, which could either kill him or cure him. If it kills him, if he dies, my husband will feel guilty; and nobody will be able to talk him out of it. He's the President of the United States, not God; I know that, and somewhere deep inside him, he knows that.

It's Josh who is in the terrible position right now. The man has gotten a second chance with the woman he loves, and still he doesn't seem to have a clue as to what a great person Donna Moss actually is. He's also Leo's medical Power of Attorney, the one who gets to decide whether or not he lives or dies- probably the most serious decision that anyone can make on behalf of another person. Jed told me a few minutes ago, that if Leo dies, he doesn't blame Josh. I know he won't, Jed will blame himself, just as Josh will blame himself; they are that similar.

I glanced sideways at my husband; the previously easy to read Jed Bartlet was gone. In his place, was Jed Bartlet; Nobel Prize winner, diplomat, politician; and President.

"Shalom Mr. Prime Minister." He shook hands with the dapperly dressed man.

"Shalom, Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet." He answered, I stepped forward shaking his hands with him.

"I trust you had a smooth flight?" I asked, beginning the small talk.

"Yes I did, I found it very comfortable." He replied. I noticed that he took a deep breath, as he looked around him, taking in the sight.

"What a beautiful home you have here," he complimented.

"If you think this is something, you should see where we usually live." Jed replied. Olmert smiled in response.

"I'll let my wife show you to a room, and then we'll get started talking." Jed remarked. It was time to play the dutiful wife; I was to lead the man to his room, and while he spoke with my husband I was to welcome PLO Leader Farad. We climbed the stairs towards his room in silence; he broke it:

"How is Mr. McGarry?"

I was briefly taken aback at his question.

"I know he's not here; he usually greets foreign visitors with the President and yourself. My informants tell me that he isn't well, and I am merely asking after his health." Olmert elaborated.

"He's at home; resting." I answered. We were silent, as we neared the bedroom assigned to him. Olmert signaled the security officers behind him, to move and check the room.

"Go gently on my husband; he's got a lot on his plate right now." I advised him.

"I'll do my best." He replied.

* * *

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I knocked on C.J.'s door, and she told me to come in.

"Ah Joshua, you come bearing a gift; my statement, and not a moment too soon. The whole line about not having any comment at this time, was wearing a little thin." I smiled, and handed her the file folder, and stood there numbly for a few moments. She took in my appearance; rumpled shirt, messier than normal hair, and tired eyes.

"Oh, poor you. This can't have been easy for you. Leo means a lot to me too; he means a lot to all of us." She said. I took it as an invitation to sink onto a chair.

"And Toby's being an ass." I added.

"Toby wouldn't be Toby, if he weren't behaving like an ass towards somebody. This weeks target is you, next week might be the bullpen janitor." C.J dryly remarked. I smiled again.

"It's just he's so…" I struggled for the word.

"Angry, bitter. He's just upset at what happened with Andie, and instead of trying to do something about it; he's directing his anger at the world around him. " C.J. supplied. I shrugged my shoulders

"Yeah that must be it. Do you need anything else?" I asked.

"No I'm good for now. Josh, you look beat; go get some sleep. I'll wake you if anything urgent comes up." C.J. advised me. I yawned:

"Sounds like a good idea; I'll see you later. I'll need to be awake for the bilateral meetings."

"Yeah, alright." C.J. replied. I rose and left the room.

As I thought back to the events of the day; I couldn't help but feel that the friendship with Toby was well on its way to being over. He seemed so bitter, and angry with me; and he didn't get that I _had _to go to Germany; my full concentration was not on my job, part of it was on Donna. I had to go to the hospital to be Leo's person yes, but also to be with her. And I still was not going to apologize for my choices and I would not no matter what; he wasn't going to accept it. And that made him one sad individual.

* * *

That's it for this update. I hope you enjoyed it; please review it.

A.B.


	11. White House Women: Chapter 11

Disclaimer: It's been a while since I've updated this one, and I still don't own anything associated with the West Wing

Summary: See Chapter #1

Author's notes:

Until I started watching this show over again on DVD I had writers block. Consider it unblocked

"" Dialogue, '' thoughts

Bolded type means a flashback, Italics mean a phone conversation

C.O.S. Change Of Scenery

8888: change in perspective

White House Women: Chapter #11: (Josh's Point of View)

Monday morning, as it has a bad habit of doing dawned cursedly early. I tried pretending, by firmly placing a pillow over my face, but unfortunately it didn't work and I felt the heat of the sun anyway.

Heaving the covers off, 10 minutes after the alarm went off I faced reality. My boss was having heart surgery, and I was his power of attorney. As I showered and changed, ready to face the day it finally hit me: Leo could die today, and I would be the one responsible.

Everyone placated me at Camp David; assured me that I wouldn't be the one to blame. But I was the one who made the decision. I was the one that was going to have to live with the consequences; have the guilty conscience if he died and no amount of assurance can take that away.

Leo, it still boggled my mind as I entered the hospital that he was there. He seemed this invincible creature, able to outlast all of us, able to be dancing on our graves. And now he lay in a hospital bed hooked to numerous machines.

"Has Donna left you yet?"

The question caught me unaware of my surroundings; I had entered the hospital and made my way into his room.

"Almost, She'll see sense eventually." I continued the joke.

"You look like crap." Leo replied.

"You're not so bad yourself." I replied, attempting to keep my tone positive.

"How was the summit?" Leo asked,

"The summit was productive, both sides agreed to meet at a later date to discuss specifics." I quoted from the statement

"Okay, now really how was the summit?" Leo repeated, his breathing growing short.

"They came, they saw, they acted like they liked each other, and they left. The President is frustrated, and he's still angry."

Leo gave a small smile. "What's next?" he asked. I was silent, and turned my head away; the phrase what's next brought me to the reason for my presence there, the reason for the fight with Donna.

"Your surgery is this morning, in a couple of hours." I stated. I was silent; I really didn't know if I was looking for absolution for any guilt or what.

"I won't blame you Josh. If I die, it's not for your fault, so forget it. I've had a good, and productive life. I've served the public, and gotten a good man elected President. I have a beautiful daughter that loves me; I really can't ask for anything more." Leo stated.

At that point, I should've been able to let go and feel better. The man himself had made peace with the fact that he might die, and I should too. But I didn't want him to die; in my admittedly twisted mind it was still my fault. It was still me that put his signature on the waiver, and it was still me that fought with Donna, and that wouldn't admit she was right; he deserved some peace.

"He's about to be prepped for surgery." A nurse's voice broke my reverie, as I turned away from the bed to find Mallory standing there.

"Hi dad." She quietly greeted her father as I withdrew from the room.

I began pacing the hall and glancing at my watch: 7:35, Donna would be due any minute. And at that thought she was, a streak of blonde hair and a whiff of lavender, and she was beside me. I looked at her nodding:

"They're just about to take him to prep him for surgery. Mallory's in with him now." She looked at me with such sadness in her eyes, and sighed:

"This didn't need to happen." She remarked, her voice low.

"I wanted to give him every chance possible." I gave her the explanation that I'd been trying out on myself. She turned away as Mallory was heard coming down the hallway. She moved quickly to take her spot.

"Give the guy a couple of breaks Donna." I heard him gasp.

I noted the closed door and turned away, doubting that despite his advice she would give me few breaks. She emerged from the room with fresh tears in her eyes, and came straight for me. I hugged her close, for a moment and then she remembered herself and pulled away from my embrace.

The last I saw of Leo he was wheeled out on a stretcher. He signaled the orderly to stop in front of me:

"It's not your fault Josh. Find the next one." The stretcher moved on, and I stood there slightly dumbfounded, and feeling very lost indeed.

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"I should be there Abbey, he's my best friend."

"He is your best friend, and you're forgetting things like a motorcade, advanced notice and security. You're not just Joe citizen, you're a running a country."

I thought he'd let it go, but the argument started the moment he woke up, and continued on through breakfast, and until now, when he made his final preparations for his walk to the office. My husband was in his stubborn mode; he would not let go of the idea of going to the hospital to be with Leo. After a few moments of silence he sighed:

"Fine. You win I'll stay here. Happy?"

I was happy, and relieved for the staff: the last thing I'm sure they wanted was to have my husband in a crabby mood shut down their hospital for security reasons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll go and stay with Josh until the surgery is over and call you with any changes. That way, I'll be able to keep you informed, and him calm." He smiled agreeably at that.

"It's a deal, now go. And while I'm waiting, I'll have some fun making life miserable for everybody else." He smiled.

" Go easy on them, remember it's a tough day for them too." I reminded him.

"First you deny me the right to go to my best friend while he has his heart surgery, and now you're denying me the right to have sport my own staff? What do I do?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something." I followed suit, putting my own coat on and leaving the room. I together with my Secret Service left the compound, moving quickly towards the hospital.

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Donna and I made our way into a surgical waiting room after Leo was wheeled past. I took a seat at one end, and she at the other, with Mal. We didn't talk at all, and as the silence lengthened it grew more intense. She didn't look at me, and I didn't look at her, and Mal kept giving me these sympathetic looks that grew more annoying than sympathetic.

I kept thinking of Leo's remark: Find the next one. I wanted to believe all he meant me to do was find the next chief-of-staff but somehow instinctively I knew he meant more. It was an admission of sorts; the realization that both he and the President were getting old, and he was willing at last to give up.

The next Bartlet…. Could the world take another one? Another idealistic, stubborn, hard-working, earnest man who expects the best from people, and inspires loyalty so strong you would without a second thought walk through for fire them. Is there another such person? Could they be found? Were they willing to serve?

It would be quite a feat to achieve that. I suddenly felt woefully inadequate to the task. I can't do it, and should have told him so. Why couldn't it have been Toby he asked?

I was startled out of my thoughts by the arrival of the First Lady. I heard the boots pounding on the floor, and figured the guards were there, and the next thing I realized she was standing in the doorway. Instinctively, Mal, Donna and I stood, she regally motioned for us to sit, and came to sit beside me.

The silence continued afterwards for sometime until finally Abby broke it looking straight at Mal:

"Jed wanted to come. After some fighting, I managed to persuade him to stay at the White House, while I came. I told him I would call him when we had word."

"Thank you. Josh and Donna are with me so I'm not totally alone."

She glanced at me, and then Donna. Somehow she knew exactly what was going on.

"You can never have too much support." Donna and Mal both stood:

"We're going to get a cup of coffee, would you like one Mrs. Bartlet?" Donna asked.

"No thank you, I'm fine." She smiled, and the two left the room. I looked at her, knowing a request for an explanation was forthcoming:

"She doesn't agree with my decision for Leo to have the surgery. She sees it as needless, and thinks that after all the battles he's fought Leo deserves some peace. We've fought over it, at least once. And every time she looks at me, it's as if she's blaming me for his death." I was quiet waiting for a response. She took up my hand, and placing her other one on my face forced me to look into her eyes, and I still refused to make eye contact, so she began:

"Joshua, look at me." I looked, rooted to where I was because of the look of compassion, and the resolve in her tone:

"If Leo dies, you are not the one to blame. I will not blame you, Jed will not blame you, and your co-workers and friends will not blame you. You owed it to him to give him a fighting chance, and the surgery is it."

She let go of my face and I turned my head, not replying, but thinking about what she said. I blurted out the next thing bothering me- I had to find a replacement for her husband.

"He wants me to find the next one." I paused waiting for her answer, noticing the look of sympathy, mixed with shock. I could imagine her remembering past conversations, or fights with the President of when to quit or whether to quit. She took a deep breath:

"A daunting task, replacing my husband as leader of his party. I knew it was coming, and knew too they were planning to ask you. You're young Josh, you've got years of public service left, years to do good. My husband… he's the old guard, so is Leo. It's time for new ideas, new leaders. Young leaders."

I sighed rubbing my hands through my hair:

"I need to get away from here, for a while. I'll be back at the office for a few hours."

She nodded, and I stood to leave:

"I'll call you when he's out of surgery." She paused:

"You can't keep running Josh."

I thought for a moment; she was right. One day I was going to have that conversation with Donna. One day I was going to have to face the responsibility of choosing another candidate. I couldn't run forever, I couldn't keep leaving her, and I couldn't let Jed down. One day that conversation with Donna would be had, decisions would be made. I was just not ready for it yet.

That's all for my update, I hope you enjoy reading it. There will be more, rest assured.

-AB


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